Shame or Jesus?



I did not grow up in a Christian home. I did not hear Christian parents tell me that I should save myself for marriage. In my Mexican American culture, it was a miracle if a girl did not get pregnant at 16 and/or have 1 or more babies by 20. 

I managed to not get pregnant until 18 but I did end having two babies by 20.

Several years ago, my family and I moved to a small border town where, statistically speaking, the teenage pregnancy rate was the HIGHEST IN THE COUNTRY. 

YEAH....THE COUNTRY!

We moved there to work with Mexico missions across the border. My husband worked for a bit with the school district fixing the air conditioners and would come home telling me story after story of young kids he saw (junior high and elementary age kids) making out and engaging in inappropriate public displays of affection just a few feet away from teachers....and the teachers just accepted it. 

One story that really scared me was the one about the 5th grade girl that ended up getting pregnant by a boy in junior high.

That story....along with many other personal reasons, is what finally pushed me over the edge and helped me gain the confidence I needed to pull my 2nd grade daughter out of that school district and begin homeschooling her...but that's' for another blog post. 

We ended up moving away from that border town (and yes, I still home school) and now live on the northern border but I am still very much aware and burdened for the thousands upon thousands of girls getting pregnant every year, not because they are "rebellious heathens"......but simply because they do not know a Jesus that saves, justifies, and sanctifies. 

Statistics show that teenage pregnancy rate overall has dropped, but it's still a societal problem, not only in secular circles, but Christian circles as well.

Growing up in church, regardless of whether it is a Christian church, Catholic church or any church for that matter does not guarantee that our girls will say no. Leading our girls, guiding our girls and teaching our girls morals, abstinence, celibacy or "in the ways of the Bible" do not guarantee that our girls will say no. 

Only Christ and His saving power, along with the guiding and directing of the Holy Spirit will help save our girls. 

Please welcome guest blogger, Kimberly Suchta. She writes a beautiful encouraging blog post titled: 

To All The Girls Who Didn't Say No.

One of the most profound days of my life was the day I told my Mom and Dad I was pregnant. I wasn’t married. I had just moved home and out of the apartment I shared with my boyfriend. I was beginning my first semester at a technical college trying to make the most of my messed up life. It was far from stable. After my parents took in the initial shock, and having some long conversation with them, I will never forget the small smile that emerged from my Mom’s face as she said, “I am going to be a Grandma.”

When my daughter was six months old, we were all invited to a family reunion.  My relatives hadn’t seen me since before I was pregnant. I was nervous. What would they think? Thankfully I had sunglasses on so they wouldn’t see the shame in my eyes. As we pulled up to the park on that sunny day my Dad got out of the car and went around and took his grand daughter out of her car seat. He proceeded to walk towards the picnic tables full of people chatting away and eating potato salad. I will never forget how proud he looked as he carried her high up in his arms so everyone could see how beautiful she was. And she was.  And all of a sudden I could breath easier. Not only was my Dad accepting of me and my child, but he had great joy in sharing her with everyone. It didn’t matter to me anymore what anyone else thought. And I didn’t realize it back then, that the Lord would use my earthly Father that day, to show me the incredible love He had for me as my heavenly Father.

So to all you girls who didn’t say no, who have heard the messages out there on saving yourself for marriage, and staying pure, and you feel like you just want to run because you have already crossed the line… and you feel marked…and you think there is no turning back…let me speak this truth to you:

Jesus does NOT condemn you.

He came to rescue you and restore you, and he will meet you right in the middle of your mess.

You need to remember that it is only by his cleansing blood that you are truly pure.  Saving yourself for marriage will not make you right with God. Only trusting Jesus’ death on the cross for ALL of the ways you have sinned against him will.

And crazy as it sounds…he is counting on using your past sins for your good if you are his child!  They are never wasted.

Maybe you have messed up so many times that you think there is just no way Jesus could forgive you. Or maybe you think if you just feel bad enough and stay away from certain people things will change and God will eventually feel better about you and accept you. But nothing could be further from the truth. Do you know how many accounts there are of women in the Bible that the world thought of very low worth, very sinful women, that Jesus pursued in love? Do you know He says that he takes great delight in his daughters? And rejoices over you? Just like my Dad did that day when he walked around the park with his grand daughter in his arms! That is how the Lord loves you…in all your mess…in all your sin and shame.

If you are like me, you will have to battle to believe this on a daily basis. You may fight the battle of not only accusations you are telling yourself, but also the accusations you hear from others. But this is when we have to remember that this is exactly the path the Lord Jesus took to save us!

He died the death we deserved to die.

He lived the perfect life we never could.

Yet, the world put him on trial…they accused the law-giver himself!  And he hung on the cross…carrying all of our sin and shame on himself so we never would have to carry it again.

In Ed Welch’s book, “Shame Interrupted”, he says,

“God was on trial; the world was judge and jury. And this was the path that Jesus chose as the way to rescue the shamed. The path he chose to rescue you.”

And he goes on to say, “The cross is the best and quickest summary of what God says to unworthy people.” …He always says, ‘I love you’ first.”

Preach those promises to yourself, daily! Remind each other of them.

“Those who look to him are radiant. And their faces shall never be ashamed.”

~Psalm 34:5

If you want to follow her blog, you can check it out www.kimberleysuchta.com/